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Posts Tagged ‘Dr J Jayalalithaa’

Following wide-spread media coverage, we at the Mad Hatter Times are proud to re-hash & report that Ethiopia has solved its food crisis, Muammar Muhammed al-Gaddafi has turned a Mother Teresa, world unemployment rates now resemble Katrina’s size zero……In short all the problems of this world and the next have been solved, resolved and dissolved beyond dispute thanks to the Osama Bin Laden’s death, following close on the heels of the Royal Wedding.

Elsewhere in a move bound to bring joy, light & happiness in the lives of Tamils’ worldwide, T R Rajendar has promised to stop acting in Tamil films thanks to his rapidly expanding fan base in Hollywood, after a recent facial surgery considerably reduced the South Indian bombshell’s  resemblance to a full-grown panda. Even as Hollywood critics groan in dismay at India’s unleashment of its secret weapon of mass disruption, the actor was heard to say, “I go Hollywood, because I love Kollywood, I go North, because I is South.”

As further proof of the fact that the world’s problems are solved, “rationalist“ Mr M Karunanidhi in a dispute with his sons, sons-in-laws, daughters, daughter-in-law, nephews, nephews’ sons, wives & companions has disowned one & all concerned & exchanged his yellow shawl for saffron robes at the Vellore Golden Temple; dogging the footsteps of the superstar to the Himalayas.  Ms J Jayalalithaa has of course forfeited all her claims to green shawls, the Kodanadu estate, Jaya TV, Jaya News and V N Sudhakaran (in the face of media claims that she had done this years before).

In another stirring development, Lalit Modi has been re-named as IPL Commissoner, following a news poll that the majority of India finds him more entertaining that the combination of Poonam Pandey & cricket.

In a breaking news report, which is a Mad Hatter Times exclusive, we report breaking news that Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has abdicated the high seat in favour of Mr Lal Krishna Advani on the premise that being a stooge of the government or Madam Sonia is a uni-lateral, bi-partisan issue that has to be supported by all parties. Soniaji has of course been given the Padma Shree for pulling off this stellar example of horse trading.

In another startling development, the Karnataka Government has decided to publish meteorological reports free of cost to the Tamil Nadu Government, in a spirit of cooperation and camaraderie to help the TN government file its 35,000 page reports on the Cauvery dispute. This move has been welcomed by the Ministry of Environment & Forests, which has been facing severe criticism with the felling of thousands of trees; needed for the compilation of Arundhati Roy’s 50,000,000 page report on Maoists in the tree-denuded jungles of India.

The Ministry of Tribal Welfare, in a move to conserve forests and curb the activities of Arundhati Roy’s has banned The Hindu, The Outlook & Tehelka from re-publishing Ms Roy’s reports – a move which has been welcomed by the Readers’ Circles of all leading newspapers even as it has dented the profits of the publishing & paper industry.

Now, we will take a short-commercial break, before we continue our coverage of how the world’s problems have been solved because President Obama sorry Osama is dead.

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These days every other Tom, Dick and Hari has got a honorary doctorate because he has loads and loads of cash; because he’s engaged in manufacturing illicit arrack; because he’s part of a political dynasty; or because he’s trying to be a cine superstar.

Joyce Meyer – American multi-millionaire preacher gets honourary doctorate from millionaire pastor Oral Roberts

Ratan Tata – Industrialist gets honourary doctorate from President of India Pratibha Patil

Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi – de facto military Libyian leader gets  honourary doctorate in Arabic-Islamic studies from Tunisia

A P J Abdul Kalam – gets honourary doctorates, because our universities needed grants and felt that he didn’t have enough degrees

Ulaga Nayagan Kamal Hassan – gets honourary doctorate from Sathyabama Engineering College, run by the honourable Mr Jeppiar, who was earlier a police constable and alleged boot-legger

Elaiyathalapathi Vijay – gets honourary doctorate from Sathyabama Engineering College

Viswanath Anand – gets honourary doctorate from Sathyabama Engineering College

Akshaya Kumar – gets honourary doctorate of Law….He might have got on the wrong side of it as a waiter in Singapore

Other cine stars who have got honourary doctorates – Manorama, K Balachander & Sivaji Ganesan

Dr Karunanidhi – TN CM gets honourary doctorates from Annamalai University and TN Governor Surjit Singh Barnala

Dr J Jayalalithaa –  former TN CM gets honourary doctorate to compete in all spheres with MK

And of course, the late Dr MGR

Wanna add on to the list?

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