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Posts Tagged ‘Prayer Warriors’

Yeah! I could’nt believe it. But there’s proof from the Dinakarans . Now everyone knows nasty Satan is out to lure your kids away from Christ and into drugs, TV, dating, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. So what do you do….

You have many options:

a) You can make the following minimum pledge according to your place of residence: India Rs. 2000 US $ 200 (Now since most of you can’t spend time praying for your own kids, get the staff @ Jesus calls to pray for them. )

b) For parents too poor to cough up 2k for prayers, we have installments!

c)And for those who have wads of dough, the Dinakarans urge you to

“Kindly do not stop your contribution towards the Young Partner Plan after the pledge as 50% of our Young partners do. By contributing regularly every month towards this plan you will receive the new mercies from God every day for the month according to Lamentations 3: 22,23 and also the number of souls saved because of this ministry will be added to your account (not your bank account dumbo). So, your reward on earth and in heaven will be great.
Be assured that you are always surrounded by the effectual prayers of the Dhinakarans and the prayers of our anointed Prayer Warriors who put forth your prayer requests before the throne of God and intercede daily on your behalf in the 24 hours Prayer Tower. “


Yeah, don’t stop sending money, as 50% of the other youngsters with short-term memory loss. Keep sending the notes in so that the Dinakarans don’t forget you in their prayers.

And the point of sale: Since you continue to sin, we will continue to intercede on your behalf, say the dinakarans. Let me get their twisted logic straight: If what the Dinakarans say is right, then they can afford their AC super-deluxe homes, BMWs and Rolex watches only if people keep sinning and calling Jesus calls.

So if everyone gets converted and the whole world becomes Christian, the Dinakarans might not have a penny to call their own. Wow! What a solution to all the world’s problems. Guys stop sinning, stop feeling guilty and we won’t have millionaire preachers like Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyer & Pat Boone ranting on our TV sets.

Prayer Warriors (PW) – The inside scoop from a couple of prayer warriors @ Jesus calls.

Little known facts about prayer warriers:

*The PWs do night shifts just like BPOs, to keep the cash counters ringing, sorry I meant the prayers 24-hours non-stop.
*The PWs have females too. So if you have marital troubles and are female, u’d have female PWs conselling u on the need to be a christian wife and obey and submit to your tryanical, overbearing MCP husband. If you were a man, you’d have a male PWs telling you were the head of the family and you wear the pants at home.
*The PWs get payed Rs 2000 a month. And they handle on an average 60 calls a day. So imagine 60 X Rs 2000 (the amount the hapless parents pay for prayers for their deviant kid) means Jesus calls gets Rs 1.2 lakhs a day from one PW. Say, Jesus calls has 50 workers, then its earnings that day is Rs 60 lakhs. And their earnings per month is Rs 18 crores……Whopee! Running a Christian BPO to handle prayers is serious good business.

Rachel Chitra

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