As a kid I remember I was fascinated with Westerns, and started using swear words just to sound grown-up. What I got in return was sharp slaps from my parents for using words like “Damn, hell’s a fire, Jesus…” Of course, I mended my manners soon. When I asked my parents why I shouldn’t say Jesus, they said “I was not to use the name of God in vain and especially not as profanity.”
I stopped doing that, but couldn’t stop myself from wondering (as a teen) if it was ok for pastors do so. You see pentecostal church sessions are quite long – about three to four hour in length.
So when they run out of ideas on what to pray or preach, they start the chant: “Halleluah! Halleluah! Praise the Lord! God is Great! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Come down Lord! Come down! Move with us! Ur precious Lord Lesus! Precious Lord Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Save me Lord! Halleluah! Halleluah! Halleluah! Halleluah! Halleluah! Halleluah! Jesus! Lord above all! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!”
And for a little fun, try recalling all the Jesus Ministries you’ve heard of
- Jesus Redeems
- Jesus Calls
- Jesus Comes
- Jesus Cares
- Jesus Saves
- Jesus Restores
- Jesus loves
- Jesus Works
- Jesus Youth
- Jesus Alive
- Jesus Ministries Trust
- Love of Jesus Ministry
- Gift of Jesus Ministries
- Ministry of Jesus
- Jesus Driven Ministry
- Jesus People Ministry
List is too long?
When the Full Gospel Ministry started, a lot of Pentecostals were annoyed.
I remember my grandmother asking in the AG Church Ladies Bible class, “Who do they think we are? We preach half the gospel? Or a half-baked gospel?”
There are also other institutions like the MCC Matriculation Higher Secondary School in Chetpet, which actually expands to Madras Christian College Matriculation Higher Secondary School in Chetpet.
Even Indian, Christian names are so funny and long, because parents try to strike a balance between Indian and Christian sensibilities. Being Indian, they have to name the kid after some grandparent or some rich guardian so that they don’t risk annoying them. And then they have to give the kid a Christian name or multiple Biblical names.
So my grandfather’s name was Ernest Esudasan Chandran Emmanuel Job.
My grandmother’s name was Mrs Abarahanam Vedavathy Ernest Esudasan Chandran Emmanuel Job. But her name became a misnomer after her marriage. Turning pentecostal soon after her honeymoon, she had to part with all her jewels (Abarahanam in Tamil), as the church patriarchs felt a good Vedavathy (Vedavathy- Tamil for Biblical woman) should not wear abarahanams.
My Dad’s name was pretty long – David Prabhu Dayalan Job. So my Mom, who didn’t feel upto changing her name in her bank accounts and gazette and adding on a string of other names to her already long name, remained – Mrs Sheila Lilian Sundaram. I was supposed to be Rachel Chitra Chinky
Job. But since the TN govt and the Matric Board felt all students writing the 10th standard Matric Board Exam should have initials, not sir names, I became Ms D.Rachel Chitra. And being a feminist I have remained Ms D.Rachel Chitra, despite marriage and atheism taking a prominent place in my life.
Also Christian rhyming names are so funny. I remember my friends – Anne, Johnie, Johnny. Their parents had named the three siblings – Anne Gracia, Johnie Patricia and Johnny…(shucks! I forgot)
The other set of rhyming siblings, was my college friend’s melanie’s sisters. The trio was Melanie, Melody and Harmony – a take off on the popular ad jingle for Melody chocolates.
On my mother’s side we have an aunt, who had an ignonimous name and died early in life (I don’t if the two incidents have the relationship of cause and effect). Anyway this trio was named – Violet (the lucky one!), Poilet (Bad enough! worse follows) and Toyilette (Horror of horrors).
There was another Christian friend of ours, who really like the letter R – so in resonance with the rules of alliteration – she named her four daughters – Rebecca, Rachel, Ruth and Rhoda…..the list of all the R-named females in the Bible.
Spinnin' a yarn 
