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Posts Tagged ‘Manmohan Singh’

Following wide-spread media coverage, we at the Mad Hatter Times are proud to re-hash & report that Ethiopia has solved its food crisis, Muammar Muhammed al-Gaddafi has turned a Mother Teresa, world unemployment rates now resemble Katrina’s size zero……In short all the problems of this world and the next have been solved, resolved and dissolved beyond dispute thanks to the Osama Bin Laden’s death, following close on the heels of the Royal Wedding.

Elsewhere in a move bound to bring joy, light & happiness in the lives of Tamils’ worldwide, T R Rajendar has promised to stop acting in Tamil films thanks to his rapidly expanding fan base in Hollywood, after a recent facial surgery considerably reduced the South Indian bombshell’s  resemblance to a full-grown panda. Even as Hollywood critics groan in dismay at India’s unleashment of its secret weapon of mass disruption, the actor was heard to say, “I go Hollywood, because I love Kollywood, I go North, because I is South.”

As further proof of the fact that the world’s problems are solved, “rationalist“ Mr M Karunanidhi in a dispute with his sons, sons-in-laws, daughters, daughter-in-law, nephews, nephews’ sons, wives & companions has disowned one & all concerned & exchanged his yellow shawl for saffron robes at the Vellore Golden Temple; dogging the footsteps of the superstar to the Himalayas.  Ms J Jayalalithaa has of course forfeited all her claims to green shawls, the Kodanadu estate, Jaya TV, Jaya News and V N Sudhakaran (in the face of media claims that she had done this years before).

In another stirring development, Lalit Modi has been re-named as IPL Commissoner, following a news poll that the majority of India finds him more entertaining that the combination of Poonam Pandey & cricket.

In a breaking news report, which is a Mad Hatter Times exclusive, we report breaking news that Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has abdicated the high seat in favour of Mr Lal Krishna Advani on the premise that being a stooge of the government or Madam Sonia is a uni-lateral, bi-partisan issue that has to be supported by all parties. Soniaji has of course been given the Padma Shree for pulling off this stellar example of horse trading.

In another startling development, the Karnataka Government has decided to publish meteorological reports free of cost to the Tamil Nadu Government, in a spirit of cooperation and camaraderie to help the TN government file its 35,000 page reports on the Cauvery dispute. This move has been welcomed by the Ministry of Environment & Forests, which has been facing severe criticism with the felling of thousands of trees; needed for the compilation of Arundhati Roy’s 50,000,000 page report on Maoists in the tree-denuded jungles of India.

The Ministry of Tribal Welfare, in a move to conserve forests and curb the activities of Arundhati Roy’s has banned The Hindu, The Outlook & Tehelka from re-publishing Ms Roy’s reports – a move which has been welcomed by the Readers’ Circles of all leading newspapers even as it has dented the profits of the publishing & paper industry.

Now, we will take a short-commercial break, before we continue our coverage of how the world’s problems have been solved because President Obama sorry Osama is dead.

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The most irritating thing about Dasavatharam was seeing Kamal Hassan in every frame. It being his magnum opus film in no way justifies the fact that the whole film is Kamal, Kamal and nothing but Kamal.

The irritating things about the movie:

Kamal‘s ego. The scene in which social activist Vincent Poovaraghan replies, “Yes. I am a world-class actor” to the villain’s “Who do you think you are? Are you a world actor?” is too irritating for words. K S Ravikumar films have the trademark of K S Ravikumar appearing in at least one shot. But K S Ravikumar crooning about Kamal in the last song Ulaga Nayagane….”You have to be a UN member…You have to get an Oscar award…You have acted in thousands of roles….You are a world actor, world actor, ” Shucks! And K S Ravikumar trying to dance with scantily-clad girls! Too ignominious!
Missing links. Where did Kamal get his cellphone? How did the villains get the number and call Kamal in that scene when Kamal is standing in front of the police station? And containing a bio-weapon with plain NaCl or common salt is plain stupid for a movie that’s trying to be scientific (but fails nevertheless)? And how does a scientist (Govind), who spent most of his adult years creating a bio-weapon for the US so that it can kill millions of Innocent civilians, suddenly develop a conscience and want to save people in India (which he left for a well-paying job in the US)? And many people feel the US itself is a terrorist nation, so why protest the sale of the bio-weapon to a terrorist nation? As if the US is spending billions of dollars on bio-weapons for peaceful purposes.
Pathetic make-up. Kamal is a great actor and without any make-up in Michael Madana KamaRajan we were able to differentiate between the four Kamals. Here the make-up artist didn’t too a good job (Try watching Nutty Professor, you can’t recognise Eddie Murphy in any of the five characters). The faces looked artificial and kind of mummified.
Manmohan Singh, George Bush & Karunanidhi on the same stage? I don’t think so! Donning the role of George Bush and trying to outdo Sivaji Ganesan’s Navarathiri was such an immature attempt at the Oscars. I think Kamal would be better off, if he followed Aamir Khan’s non-special effects style.
Ten roles & a haywire script. Kamal had decided he’d do 10 roles. He decided he’d play a Hindu, Christian, Buddhist, Sikh, Muslim & atheist. He also decided he’d be a tall guy and a short, old lady. So the script is just plain confusion, with the director and script writer trying to fit in all of Kamal egomanical demands.
Too many issues. Kamal Hassan tried to talk about bio-warfare, globalisation, imperialism, terrorism, Shivites vs Vaishnavites, religion, the butterfly effect, chaos theory, discrimination against Dalits, caste feelings, lethargic functioning of the bureaucracy, sycophant government officials, corruption in the govt ranks, the tsunami, ….its just too much packed in three hours.
The Indian anthem being played when Govind lands in India with the bio-weapon. Why the national anthem? When nothing in the film has anything remotely to do with patriotism.
Hiroshima, Nagasaki vs Pearl Harbour. Its so stupid when Christian Fletcher tells Shingen Narahashi “Remember Hiroshima, Nagasaki?” and he retorts with “Remember Pearl Harbour?”. Its so stupid and doesn’t make sense.

What I did like about the movie despite all this, was the subtle criticism he dared make about the present system:

  • He says that both God and science betrayed human beings during the tsunami. In his own words in the last scene, “I didn’t say I don’t believe in God. I only said it will be nice if there was one” (Meaning that God is not there. Why quibble about it?). And that the stone (Vishnu statue) is just powerless. As it didn’t save Vishnu followers (including, the skeletal Ranagaraja Nambi) and got cast up on the beach due to the tsunami not its own powers.
  • He says that people have always killed and got killed in the name of the God in India. Even before Christianity or Islam made its entry to India, people were killing each over communal riots.in this case Shivites vs Vaishnavites.
  • When he’s protesting the sale of “bio-weapons to venture capitalists,” his boss tells him not act like a unionist. I liked how he showed that industrialists try to buy off people with unionist tendencies; when his boss tells Govind he will be paid hundred thousand dollars to go with the tide; and when Vincent’s men are bought off by the sand-mining industrialists here.
  • When he hugs the sanitary workers (most probably Dalits with no offense, but only empathy for that community) and the sanitary workers are surprised that he’s touching a person, who works in the drains.
  • When the old, mad woman hugs the dead Vincent and they tell her not to touch him because he’s from another caste. But the old woman rejects what he says, leaving us with the question who is really mad? The old woman who embraces a stranger as her son or the Hindu fundamentalist, who thinks touching someone from another caste is sinful?
  • when he shows the rampant sand mining taking place on the Palar river bed. He has imitated real-life activists in portraying the anti-sand mining group
  • when he shows the blind faith and prejudices people have due to religion
  • when he makes a hit at Vaiko and Vijaykanth. In the interrogation scene, Balram Naidu questions Govind’s loyalty towards promoting the Tamil language, to which Kamal replies “Telegu people (Vaiko/Vijaykanath) like you will promote the language for their own benefit.”
  • when he criticises Jayendra Saraswathi. When Balram Naidu wants to interrogate people in the Hindu religious mutt, he asks “Are there not criminals in mutt?” (A hit at the recent murder case in which the acharya was arrested and many brahmins protested the move)
  • when Kalif’s dad tells the govt officers not to think “every Muslim is a terrorist”. Kamal of course phrases it in his roundabout way as “don’t think everyone who prays to Mecca is a terrorist.” I feel there’s too much of branding going on. Just because the US govt, UK and other European countries didn’t like Communists; Communists were bad and terrorists. Now the new villains are Muslims. Because the US would love to occupy the oil-rich lands of the Middle-East, the natives or Muslims become evil and terrorists. Even the BJP and RSS get votes using the same platform that “Hindu Rajaya must be born, after killing all the Muslim terrorists in India.” In Gujarat, I guess the Modi govt was partially successful, but it was interesting to note the subtle criticism the film makes of the Gujarat riots and the more than 2,000 Muslims killed in the riots.

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The real Singh!

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Wiki on Lalu Prasad Yadav: Mr Yadav is a politician from the state of Bihar. He is currently the Minister of Railways in the ruling United Progressive Alliance(UPA) government and the president of the Rashtriya Janata Dal.

He is currently a Member of Parliament in the 14th Lok Sabha from the Chhapra constituency. He is known for his charismatic leadership and mass appeal among some of the backward castes and religious minorities, caste-based politics, as well as for the many corruption cases against him during his political tenure.

Lalu after rumours that Mayawati might emerge as a PM candidate: “I do not rule out the possibility of being prime minister of India one day, but there is still time.”

The smart aleck:“It may not be such a distant possibility considering that people with lesser vote-banks like IK Gujaral, Chandramohan and Manmohan Singh have become prime ministers.”

Lalu on Communism: “I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations, it gives them hope in their own life.”

 The smart aleck: I’m sure people in Bihar would have been inspired by the way he got out of tough situations in corruption charges like the disproportionate assets case and the Fodder scam.

Lalu on why he leads a luxurious life: “I work so much. If I don’t get all the comforts, I will turn mad.”

Lalu, the veterinarian: “If you do not milk the cow fully, it falls sick.”

Lalu on handling the Railways portfolio: My mother always told me not to handle a buffalo by its tail, but always catch it by its horns. And I have used that lesson in everything in my life, including the Railways.

The smart aleck: I wonder what buffaloes have to do with getting his relatives cushy jobs in the railway department?

Lalu on lobbying industrial groups: Why should I tell you where I am going to get funds from? If I were to do that then all the vested interests would get alerted. You must be aware that railways are full of such elements and my fight is against them.

 

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Wiki on Sonia Gandhi: Born Edvige Antonia Albina Maino, Ms Gandhi is an Indian politician, the President of the Indian National Congress and the widow of former Prime Minister of India, Rajiv Gandhi. She is the Chairperson of the ruling United Progressive Alliance in the Lok Sabha, and the leader of the Congress Parliamentary Party. She was named the third most powerful woman in the world by Forbes magazine in 2004.

Sonia on why they opposed the Left in Kerala, while supporting the Left in West Bengal: “The biggest challenge at the national level is to defeat communal forces for which the support of the Left parties was essential but the party is opposed to the Left in Kerala because the UPA’s aim is to ensure economic development and social harmony.”

The smart aleck: Last, I heard the Congress, turned a blind eye to Nandigram to ensure the economic development of the Tata Group and disturb the social harmony of displaced farmers in Nandigram

Sonia Gandhi on dynasty politics: “I belong to a political family.”

The smart aleck: Right ho! Her mother-in-law, Her father-in-law, Her husband, Her son, Her daughter…I missed someone. Yeah! Its herself, – the woman behind the sucess of Mr Manmohan Singh’s puppet act in Parliament

Sonia Gandhi on back-seat politics: “I don’t disown our responsibility and my responsibility as Prime Minister.”

The smart aleck: Proof, that MPs prefer to seek favours at 10, Janpath (residence of Cong prez Sonia Gandhi) instead of 7, Race Course Road (the PM’s residence)

Sonia Gandhi’s attempt at poetry:“Together we can face any challenges as deep as the ocean and as high as the sky.”

Sonia Gandhi on Dr Singh:”My complaint with Dr Singh is that he sometimes does not highlight his achievements enough.”

The smart aleck: Yeah! Tough luck for the poor chap, who has to say “Salaam, Madam” hundred times a day

Sonia Gandhi after women protested naked with banners crying “Indian Army men rape us”:“I have issued instructions that while handling the situation in Upper Assam innocent civilians should not be harassed.”

The smart aleck: And she’s not only the de-facto Prime Minister, she’s also the de-facto President. She gets to order the Indian Army around.

Sonia Gandhi: “I am resigning my post in the Parliament. I have done this because I think it is the right thing to do.”

The smart aleck: And then did a very smart thing, by contesting for the same post in the elections that were held, because she resigned the post in the first place.

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